In the Beginning…There Was Summer!
It’s the most famous story. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (KJV) He created day and night. Then, He created His best work yet – man. Up to that point, everything seemed to have been going well. Adam and Eve were enjoying the best of God’s creation until Eve ate the apple from the forbidden tree. It was all downhill from there.
Have you ever made a decision that turned out to be the beginning of a total game-changer?
I have. In January of 2006, after learning that the baby I was 22 weeks pregnant with had several health issues, I decided to terminate the pregnancy. As I think back, I clearly see that my choice was rooted in fear – fear of not knowing if the baby was going to make it to full term, fear of dealing with a baby that had issues beyond my comprehension, and yes, even the selfish fear that this baby would be a burden on my life.
Life was not the same way for Adam and Eve after they ate the forbidden fruit. It wasn’t for me either after I terminated my pregnancy. The next 5 years were filled with guilt, shame, anxiety, and fear that manifested as hypochondria. In my mind, I was convinced that I had to pay for what I had done.
The only way I could pay for my sin was through self-sacrifice. Talk about arrogance! See, God’s forgiveness, then, wasn’t enough for me. Jesus’ shed blood on the cross couldn’t cover my sin because, in my eyes, what I’d done was just too much for Him to forgive. So I needed to step in and fix things. Absurd? Yes! Uncommon? No.
In my beginning there was Summer, a 22-week, 1-pound baby that God gave me to carry and whose purpose He had inscribed in the palm of His hand. See, I have engraved you in the palms of my hand; your walls are ever before me – Isaiah 49:16 It was also in my beginning that from my fears confusion sprouted. This confusion was so deep that only the hand of God could uproot it. I am grateful today that He did just that through my surrender to Him.
He dug so deep as I went through the Surrendering the Secret study that every trace of shame, guilt, fear, anxiety, and confusion has long since passed. Summer is now a season from my life. But because of His great mercy and grace, I know I will one day get to see her beautiful face in heaven.
Friend, I do believe that we can learn from someone else’s mistake and avoid walking paths of grief and remorse created from erroneous decisions. If you are in your beginning and wondering whether the baby within you is a gift or a burden, I pray you make the right choices today, and trust in and seek the God Who’s more than enough to see you through your circumstance. If you’ve already made a game-changing decision, believe that Jesus’ sacrifice is enough to cover the emotional and physical effects of abortion ,or whatever else is weighing heavy in your heart today, because it heals, restores, redeems, and makes new.
Rosie Jensing is a wife, mother of two beautiful girls, and kingdom builder currently living in the Tampa Bay area. She is a writer, speaker, recovery ministry leader. You can connect with Rosie on Twitter (@rosiejensing) and Facebook or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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