A GUEST POST FROM NATIONAL LEADER SUZANNNE HOWARD
So they will be called the trees of righteousness (strong and magnificent, distinguished for integrity, justice, and right standing with God)
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:3b AMP
I clung to this verse as I walked through my healing. You see, I had an abortion when I was 23 years old. I lived with the guilt and shame for 23 years. I served at church out of my pain and shame trying to make up for what I had done, but I was tired and worn out.
“Strong” was not at all how I felt. “Magnificent” was a far cry from the tired girl I was. “Right standing with God” was what I longed for. I knew that He loved me. Jesus died for me! What was my problem?
“The planting” meant deep, stable roots. I was anything but stable. He wasn’t getting any glory from my story.
As I worked through “Surrendering the Secret” I learned how much He loved me and He knew what a mess I was. I gave breath to the story that I had stuffed. I learned the truth about the child I aborted. Anger was expressed through letters and beating a poor pillow with a baseball bat. Forgiveness came in the exhaustion of letting it all out. I exchanged all the lies and anger for God’s forgiveness. I thought I had to forgive myself, but now I know that we’re not called to forgive ourselves. We’re called to accept God’s. The Cross bears the weight of all the forgiveness I need.
God’s power is made perfect in my weakness. My magnificence comes from His glory in me! I have right standing with God and have since the day of my salvation! My roots run deep in His Word and my relationship with Him. Now I can stand before you and say, “I had an abortion. My daughter’s name is Amanda Grace. I can give honor to her life. God healed me and set me free. No matter what guilt and shame you carry, God can set you free through the Blood of Jesus. To God be the Glory! Great things He has done!”
National Leader Team
Surrendering the Secret
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