A SHINING LIGHT FOR JESUSOur ministry family is grieving the loss and celebrating the life of Carol Weaver—a beloved friend, sister in the Lord, and co-laborer in the gospel. Carol began volunteering at our ministry in 1997. She became director of one of our centers in 1999 and has directed our post-abortion ministry since 2004. She and her husband Tim have three married daughters and eight grandchildren.
Carol was known for her vibrant love for Jesus, her deep compassion for people, and her passionate faith and prayer. Her life impacted each staff member and volunteer at our ministry, and the countless individuals she counseled or trained in post-abortion recovery.
When Carol first began post-abortion ministry, she’d say, “People come to me in such bondage because of the guilt they’re carrying. I have to try to keep a lid on my enthusiasm because I have so much faith that God will forgive them and set them free!”
Carol’s contagious joy was rooted in her love for Jesus and His Word. She saw people with Jesus’ eyes, and went out of her way to talk to and pray with strangers. Recently, she prayed with a woman in a grocery store who said to her afterwards, “You’re the first person in weeks who paid attention to me and spoke kindly to me.”
Carol was an exemplary shepherd-leader. She walked so closely with the Good Shepherd that His qualities emanated through her. When you were in her presence, you experienced the presence and love of God.
If Carol were here to read these words or hear the many, many accolades she’s receiving, she would say, “Well, glory to God! It’s all Him anyway!”
While our hearts break with the pain of earthly separation, our spirits soar with the joy of heaven’s reality. We know Carol is with Jesus forever.
We love you SO MUCH, Carol! We’ll see you on the other side.
“Be God’s children,
blameless, sincere and wholesome,
living in a warped and diseased world,
and shining there like lights in a dark place.
For you hold in your hands the very word of life.”
If you knew Carol, or knew of her ministry at STS, please feel free to share your memories in the Comment Section below.
In His Grip,
Happy Thanksgiving STS Friends! Please enjoy this beautiful Post from National Trainer Carol Weaver!
I love this time of year!
The autumn weather and colors have been beautiful! And how about that super moon?!! I try to live in an attitude of gratitude all year long, but I do need reminders. And I’ll admit, I can get side-tracked and distracted from “the true meaning” of Christmas.
A few years ago, I was distracted! I was looking for a Christmas gift for my daughter. After searching through countless jewelry displays, I found the perfect necklace. And one that fit my budget! The cashier rang up my purchase and to my dismay, the final price exceeded what I had anticipated. I paid my bill and walked away, scanning the figures on the receipt, trying to discover where I had miscalculated. Then I heard someone call, “Ma’am!” I turned and saw the cashier dangling my package, with a look of disdain in her eyes. I felt stupid, inadequate and ashamed.
I hate those feelings! I want to feel poised, valued, and competent. I remember well the conflicting thoughts that raced through my mind. And I came to this choice: agree with the look of disdain on a stranger’s face and her demeaning bag shaking, or believe what My Papa Father says and thinks of me, Someone who I know and who knows me, who lives in me, and loves me unconditionally. And I made the right choice.
My natural tendency is to feel insecure when faced with something unfamiliar, when I am in situations that take me out of my comfort zone, and also when comments and actions of others threaten to attack my worth. Actually, Jesus faced all of that and never once felt insecure, because He knew Who He was. I want to live knowing who I am, in all situations, temptations and trials. I need to be reminded of God’s faithfulness!
Deut 4:9 – “But watch out! Be very careful never to forget what you have seen the Lord do for you. Do not let these things escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”
When we forget what God’s done in the past, we begin to doubt what He can do in the present. What have you seen the Lord do for you?
Ps. 78: 35 – “Then they remembered that God was their rock, that their Redeemer was the Most High.”
Recently I read this quote by Ron Gibson, a Life Coach at Water Street Mission in Lancaster, PA:
“There was this guy sleeping in the gutter outside this church with people going in and out every day. A Deacon went and lay down beside the homeless guy and asked him about his story. The guy opened up and started sharing. That’s what I want to do. I want to go lay down with the people and help encourage them so that they can get out of the gutter.”
That’s what Jesus did for us! We too are called to lay down our lives for each other, in whatever way God instructs. But when I live in insecurity, or fear, or forget God’s faithfulness, I miss opportunities that God places all around me. Today, commit to LIVE LOVED! Loved by our Papa Father!
Director of Post-Abortion Ministry
Susquehanna Valley Pregnancy Services
Surrendering the Secret National Leader
We are THANKFUL for YOU!
Welcome to the STS website. We are glad you have stopped by to visit. Our team is HUGE and passionate–over 3,000 leaders across the Nation have been trained to serve or partner with you.
It is our hearts desire to serve you either as a post abortion recovery leader or someone who needs help through this heartbreaking journey!
You can find a list of National Trainers on the STS website HERE. these ladies have years and years on ministry experience and have partnered with STS in national leadership for as long as 7 years!
Below is a current list of active STATE LEADERS.
Please find the one closest to you and connect with her for help and support. If she is NOT in your State she will do all that is possible to help you find someone close to you.
Aimee Beltran St Johns, Mi email@example.com
Aimee’s heart desire and deepest passion is to share the love of Jesus Christ and His plan for healing and wholeness for those misled by the emptiness of abortion. If you are located in Michigan please contact her for help.
Cindy Case Naples, FL firstname.lastname@example.org
Cindy longs to see women become healed and whole from their abortions which then opens doors for healing in other areas of their lives. Her dream is to see Surrendering the Secret in every church.
Jo Lynn Ensor Naples, FL email@example.com
Jo Lynn wants to reach women in her community that are in need of healing and forgiveness from a previous abortion. She believes once a woman has been healed, she is empowered by the Lord to share with others who are post-abortive and with others who are in the position of making the same mistake.
Robin Exum Lubbock, TX firstname.lastname@example.org
Robin is praying for open doors for more women to find hope and healing through the Surrendering the Secret study. She desires to create a place of healing and restoration for women.
Nancy Gaiser Madison, NY email@example.com
Nancy is the Director of a PRC in New York and the post abortion recovery leader. Nancy has formed a team of 10 women who have completed STS and are ready to serve in her area. Nancy has a heart for compassion for hurting women and is ready to serve and minister to those who need her!
Tammy Hauser Valdosta, GA firstname.lastname@example.org
Tammy feels it is a blessing to see women become free from bondage because of a wrong choice. Through her own journey she has become aware of how important complete healing is for a post-abortive woman.
Kathy Hill Mansfield, MA email@example.com
Cathy knows that God wants no one to be in bondage to sin. She considers The Great Commission is her charge. She is a part of God’s army and wants to change the world!
Lynn Mattioli Liberty, NC firstname.lastname@example.org
Lynne leads Surrendering the Secret at her church. Many have responded to her testimony and have been inspired by what she shares about her road to healing.
Katherine Wehler Janesville, Wi email@example.com
Kathy has been part of Stateline Pregnancy Clinic for over 3 years. She leads STS in her local church as well as the pregnancy resource center. Kathy has a heart to help women who have fallen into the lie of abortion and desires to see them experience the freedom and peace that STS provides! Contact her for help in her area!!
Our National and State leaders want to help you in any way possible.
Please contact them for support!
I seriously have been through it all: abortion, miscarriage, infertility, the adoption of a Russian baby and one complete pregnancy that ended with an emergency Caesarean section. I’ve had a hysterectomy. I had an affair, I caused a horrible car accident and was arrested for DUI. I got a divorce and I am married again. All in that order.
I’ve been to many psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors, as well as the usual gynecologists and infertility specialists. I’ve been treated for bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, severe anxiety, severe depression and chronic insomnia. I have abused alcohol and prescription drugs. They never could tell me why I had four miscarriages in a row, though, even after extensive and invasive tests. Not one of these doctors, ever, asked about my abortion, even though I told each one.
At times, I have been suicidal and on the really bad days, I considered not only killing myself, but also taking my two small children with me. To heaven. Where there is peace. Where I could only imagine I’d finally be at rest.
Can all this be blamed on one day of my life, the day I chose to have an abortion? 30 years ago, on a cold, rainy December Tuesday? You can make your own decision, but I truly believe that yes, all of the pain that I have endured comes from that day when I destroyed a life to try to save my own. And isn’t that ironic?
The lies of abortion begin with the one that says “you’ll never have to think about this again.” The truth is that I did think about it: immediately afterward, how I felt lying on the table, silently crying, with no anesthetic because the father and I could not afford the extra money. I thought about it years later, when I miscarried for the first time. And then again, with the second miscarriage, and the third and then the fourth miscarriage. Eventually, not a day went by that I didn’t think of my horrendous sin.
My closest, dearest friend began working with a crisis pregnancy center in Ohio a few years ago, and she knew about my abortion. She had been my best friend, even then. She suggested I talk to Jill, who leads the post-abortion recovery sessions, and learn about what is involved, but I strongly believed that I was alone in my quiet guilt and sorrow, and I was resistant to talking to someone about it. She continued to gently push me in the direction of talking with Jill, but I pushed back, scared to death to share my worst secret, afraid of being criticized or judged. But when Jill reached out to me, and graciously accommodated all that I asked for, I realized maybe it was time to let go of the past.
I met her for the first time on a wintry Saturday morning, and she encouraged me to share a little about myself and my experience. Although I was terrified to talk to her and tell my story, I knew if I was going to tell anyone, it would be her. I trusted her from the start, and after she shared her own story, I realized I had never heard anyone else admit that abortion had affected them. I knew that millions of children had been aborted since 1973, but I swear I lived my life thinking I was the only person who had ever had one. When she handed me the booklet we’d be using for the sessions, I read the title, Surrendering the Secret: Healing the Heartbreak of Abortion. I thought, “Yes. It’s a horrible secret. It’s time to share it. It’s time to heal.” Jill prayed over me, and I could feel peace beginning in my heart.
My first session was a week or so later, and I had read and worked through the first chapter of the book. Jill began with a prayer, and she turned the television on. Beautiful music filled the room, and I saw women on the screen, who were just like me. They were sharing feelings and emotions that were identical to mine. They began telling their stories, and while they were all different, they were all the same. My story was different, but it was the same. We were all keeping a secret, too ashamed, too guilty, and too afraid to tell anyone. For the first time, I knew I was not alone. It would be awhile before I felt hope, but at least I knew I was not alone.
Over the next few months, we watched more video of the women sharing their experiences, we read from the Bible, we prayed, we shared, we cried. I told her how I would hear songs of forgiveness and hope on Sundays, but I didn’t believe they applied to me. I thought my sin was too great to be forgiven. But, I heard over and over through prayer and psalms and Gospel how loved I am and cherished by God, and I began to reject the lies I was told: the lie that I am worthless, the lie that I am not loved, the lie that I could never be forgiven, the lie that I am nothing more than my abortion. I saw how beaten down I had become, I saw how I hated myself, and I saw how it affected my life. I recognized how despair, regret and anger affected my relationships and ruined my first marriage. At church on Sundays during this time, I would listen to the sermon, and every Sunday, it was as if God was speaking to me through those words. Sometime during those snowy, cold Tuesday evenings, as I cried in that room with Jill, and I felt all the emotions I could feel, I also accepted God’s forgiveness. I actively accepted how wrong my abortion was, I loudly said I was sorry and asked for forgiveness, and when God quietly offered it to me, I humbly, gratefully accepted. I healed.
But my parents still did not know about my abortion – I had never told them. God loves me exactly for who I am, but my parents? I truly thought that if they knew my full story, they might not see me as the daughter they thought I was. It took me almost two more years after meeting with Jill to work up the courage, and I repeatedly asked the Holy Spirit for guidance and a “good time” to talk to my mom and dad. That “good time” happened just a few weeks ago, over breakfast and coffee at my home. I told my parents about my abortion and I asked for their forgiveness. I don’t know why I would ever have doubted their love, but like God, they assured me their love hadn’t changed and never would. It’s only because of their love and God’s that I can share this today. It’s only because they know, and it’s no longer a secret, that I am able to write about this and share it publicly.
Early in our work, Jill once told me that abortion was like a scar. When the injury happened, it was painful and it bled. As it healed, if you touched it, it might open and be bloody and painful all over again. But once it was healed, the scar was only a reminder. You could touch it, and know it happened, and remember it all, but it didn’t have to hurt anymore.
She also gave me a photograph of what I now know abortion is: a woman with her face in her hands, on her knees, in front of a child. The woman is clearly weeping, and the child touches the woman’s head. “Peace, Mom. You are forgiven.”
Postscript: I no longer take psychiatric prescription drugs of any kind, and I have not been treated by a therapist or psychiatrist since spring 2014, after I completed STS.
Thank you for the opportunity to share both a written testimonial and a video that were done for the crisis pregnancy center where I completed both the STS journey as well as the STS leader training.