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I have been struggling through some health issues. The physical symptoms soon gave way to mind, soul, and spirit symptoms, and so…I’ve been hiding.
I was diagnosed with a condition called POTS. POTS affects the autonomic nervous system and can cause symptoms that are very real and sometimes frightening, even when there is little outward evidence that anything is wrong.
I often hear the comment, âWell, you LOOK fine!â
And while, I suppose, it’s nice to hear that I don’t look as badly as I sometimes feel, it makes me a bit sad, too. A comment like that, when you’re struggling through difficult circumstances, emotions, and fears, can make someone feel like they are not seen.
Invisible.
As I was pondering these thoughts one morning, I felt the Holy Spirit say, âRemember, abortion is like that, too.â
The Wounds No One Can See
The Lord is so gracious to continually remind me of the healing He has brought me through Surrendering the Secret from past, multiple abortions. My heart is for those who have experienced pain, loss, and shame after abortion. How beautiful that the Lord would use this hard time in my life to stir my heart for those who are silently suffering.
Sometimes we can become removed from our old pain and lose sight of what others might be dealing with…on the inside…where no one else can see.
Invisible.
So many of us thought we were doing what was necessary for our situations. We had permission from our government, doctor, family, friends, maybe even from our church. We were told that this would be a âquick fix,â and we could move on with our day and our lives like nothing happened.
We wouldn’t have to think about it again.
But at some point, invisible wounds started to take shape in the form of loss, grief, pain, shame, fear, self-loathing, anger, rage, guilt, confusion, apathy, or emotional numbing.
When Pain Surfaces
Sometimes those invisible wounds begin to surface in ways we don’t understand. We may struggle with unhealthy relationships, substance abuse, addictions, disordered eating, self-harm, anger, fear, or an overwhelming need to control and protect what comes next.
We may even find ourselves reacting strongly to children, pregnant women, baby showers, or conversations about abortion without fully understanding why.
Sometimes what we see on the outside is connected to pain we have never allowed ourselves to acknowledge on the inside.
This is part of what makes abortion grief so complicated. It can be a form of disenfranchised griefâgrief that isn’t recognized, acknowledged, or given permission to exist.
You may not feel like you have the right to grieve.
Others may not understand why you’re hurting.
You may not even understand your own pain.
And when grief isn’t acknowledged, we often learn to hide it in plain sight.
Invisible.
The Wounds Within
I have fallen in love with the writings of Charles Spurgeon. He once wrote that while physical wounds quickly drive us to seek a physician, we can remain strangely unaware of the wounds within our souls. He urged his listeners to cry out to âthe Beloved Physicianâ and discover His power to heal. (You can read his full sermon here)
His words remind me that we can become very skilled at caring for what others can see while ignoring what is happening beneath the surface.
But invisible wounds are still wounds. And a wounded heart still needs a Healer.
âPeace, Peaceâ When There Is No Peace
Jeremiah 6:14 says:
âThey dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. âPeace, peace,â they say, when there is no peace.â
Sometimes healing begins with admitting that the wound is there.
Not minimizing it.
Not pretending it didn’t matter.
Not telling ourselves that we should be âover itâ by now.
Not assuming that because no one else can see the wound, it isn’t real.
Jesus sees what no one else sees.
You Don’t Have to Keep Hiding
Maybe you’ve spent years hiding a wound that no one else can see.
Maybe you’ve told yourself it wasn’t a big deal.
Maybe you’ve wondered why certain emotions still surface or why something that happened years ago still seems to have a hold on you.
Maybe you’ve become very good at looking fine.
But Jesus sees the places you’ve hidden. He sees the grief you’ve never had permission to name. He sees the shame you’ve carried.
And your past does not disqualify you from His love, His forgiveness, or His healing.
Today, if you find yourself carrying invisible wounds, would you bring them to Jesus and ask Him what He wants to do with them?
You don’t have to keep hiding.
We would love to walk with you on your journey to healing. To be connected to one of our trained and certified Surrendering the Secret leaders, please reach out to surrenderingthesecret.com/find-help.
23 Comments
Welcome, we are Surrendering the Secret!
Surrendering the Secret is a DBA of Life Impact Network a 501(c)3 NOT FOR PROFIT Ministry founded by Pat Layton in 1986 as a full-service crisis pregnancy intervention ministry. Under Patâs leadership, over a 30 plus year journey, LIN grew exponentially into a multi-focused international ministry that included a pregnancy resources center (A Womanâs Place Medical Center in Tampa, Florida); Surrendering the Secret (STS) a post-abortion recovery outreach; a speaking and training ministry; an adoption agency and an abstinence education program.
In 2014 Pat redirected all crisis pregnancy intervention services of Life Impact Network and focused her efforts entirely on speaking, writing and expanding the international impact of STS. Life Impact Network continues to be led by Founder, President, and Author Pat Layton and is governed by a volunteer Board of Directors and a volunteer National Leadership Team.
I love this Jessie. I pray in Jesus Mighty name for healing from this syndrome you shared. You have a work to do & God wants you healed & free from this! Peace & love to you. ?
Thank you Kathy!
?Jessie
Thanks for being vulnerable. Changing my diet helped me overcome Fibromyalgia, also an autoimmune condition. As long as I get proper sleep and manage stress with exercise and prayer I do well. Praying that you experience some healing. You are an amazing woman and mom. I am so thankful our paths crossed! A are a blessing to so many!
What a perfect blog. How can I share this to facebook in honor of Abortion Awareness?
Thank you Tina! We have this posted to the Surrendering the Secret Facebook and Instagram pages so you can easily share it from those sources.
Beautiful! Thank you so much Jessie, You are a blessing!!
Thank you Cathy!
Jessie
Not only do I share an abortion history with you, but I also share a POTS diagnosis (along with multiple comorbidities) with you. Will be lifting you up in prayer!
Wow, thank you for sharing Sandy! Praying for healing in Jesus’ Name!
Jessie
Beautifully written, Jessie. Thank you for sharing your heart. And thank you for the challenge – a reminder there is always more to heal.
Love you my friend!
Jessie
Jessie,
I share Cathy’s sentiment above. This is beautiful! Powerful!! Thank you so much . . . you are a blessing. Lifting you up in prayer . . . standing on God’s Word that “by His stripes, we (you) are healed.”
Thank you Denise!
Jessie
Jessie, Beautifully told! Thank you for sharing your sweet, wise truths!
Crazy that there are 3 of us with Autonomic Dysfunction. Iâm praying for you and appreciate your faithfulness to sharing Godâs grace in the midst of your storm.
I’m so glad that the Lord connected us through this Christine!
Jessie
Dear Jessie what a beautiful writing! I pray that Gods continues to give you strength and courage on this path ⊠I think we are all carrying something that pulls at us ⊠I am so thankful for you. You encourage others on their paths and the paths intersect knowing we are not alone on our journey.
Thanks you Carolyn!
Jessie
Jessie, your testimony of how the Lord has healed you on the inside is strengthening my faith for the same. And, âDear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along wellâ 3 John 2.
Thank you Brandy!
Jessie
Jessie, You are a blessing! And I am so blessed to have you as my daughter. You are so kind, gentle, and caring. You are helping others through your life story. I love you.
Jessie: I am a bit behind these days. I have just now read the above and want you to know that I will be praying for you. You are beautiful inside and out! Your heart for this ministry is so precious! The only thing I really wish is that I could post this article on Facebook especially from our pregnancy center page. Donors and clients alike would benefit from reading this blog. Blessings and prayers!
This is beautiful Jessie…your words affirm the message that God wastes nothing. How wonderful it is knowing that as He walks through this with you, He is using is for purposes far beyond what we can ever imagine. Hugs to you honey.
Absolutely beautiful, Jessie. Reminds me of the “beauty from ashes” scripture. You are such an encouragement to me.